The internet is inundated with time saving hacks and suggestions. Search time management and literally millions of links will return, providing you with an infinite opportunity to waste time evaluating hacks, tips, and top ten lists. And yet, making your own pizza will not be among them.

Until now.

Given that pizza is one of the most popular food groups and a frequent entree for the busy executive, it stands to reason that you should find a way to optimize this most common of dietary options. To which I say…

“Don’t let someone else make your pizza. Take control. Unless you prefer shitty pizza, you should cut back on pizza joints and make your own.”

Brendan

This is true for innumerable reasons, which I will dutifully innumerate herewith. First, your homemade pizza will be better pizza. After a little practice and some suboptimal initial efforts, your pizza experience will consistently outperform all but the best artisanal pizza shops. And because most artisanal pizza shops are reliably populated with too many bearded, ink-festooned, bespoke plaid-and-selvidge hipster-types, your homemade efforts will ultimately even outscore these venues. 

Second, a homemade pizza is faster. Once you have a hot oven, you can be deep into a thin crust in 20 minutes. (Alas, deep dish takes considerably longer, and that’s not so much a pizza as it is a casserole.) And it’s environmentally more friendly, given that you’re not driving or parking or paying for delivery.

Third, and in response to that whole #MeToo zeitgeist, let me suggest this: Pizzamaking can be man’s domain. This is a kitchen-centric hotspot ripe for male domination, the indoor equivalent of grilling and BBQ. To be the Head Pizza Chef is to be squarely in the center of a storm of bread flour and corn meal, armed with a searing hot oven and pizza peel, holding court and tossing dough. The messier and busier, the better. Homemade pizza is a stand and eat meal, dinner and a show, with you and your pies the glistening main attraction.

Besides, you have all the ingredients (if you have yeast.) Creating culinary magic is entirely possible when all that’s needed are yeast, flour, salt and water. Everything and anything else is simply a topping. Tomato sauce and cheese are traditional options, of course, but hardly a prerequisite. Bacon, canned clams, kale, egg, chickpeas, arugula, onion, leftovers, whatever… If it can rest on a flat surface, it’s a potential topping. The only limit is your imagination, and what hasn’t spoiled in the fridge or pantry.

“Okay, I get it,” you say, impatiently. “How do I start?”

Simple. It’s all in the dough, which you need to make yourself.

But there’s no need to panic. Pizza dough is easy. And the instructions follow:

Quick Tips

Try this a few times and then try to tell me that you’re going out to Sal’s or Vinnie’s or Original Ray’s. It won’t happen. But there is one potential risk. Pizzamaking is a short hop to more serious baking. It’s like a gateway drug. You start tinkering with your pizza dough, experimenting with timing and kneading and ingredient ratios. Before you know it, you’re deep into breads and cakes and sourdough starters and, well…

Now that I think about it, I’m not saving much time making pizzas. But I’ve bulked up nicely.